How much do we owe strangers, ethically...

So I faced a moral dilemma yesterday while waiting for my bus in the Port Authority after work. Oddly enough I had arrived at the same time I usually do to catch the most convenient bus (the 133 @ 7:30 pm). But yesterday, I suppose due to the unfavorable weather conditions, there was already a huge line of about 25 people (normally at that time there’s only about 15 people, with the bus being full at about 25-30).

So I begrudgingly take my place at the end of the line, imaging how that spot on line will land me a seat next to a fat man in a little coat, or a disrespectful single 30-something female who will talk to her lady friend via cell phone the whole way home about her life is so tough, 3 dates in one week not one suitable guy. (Side note: he’s just not that into you)

Anyway, after standing on line for about 15 seconds a lady (I’d say in her forties) gets in line behind me and says “I’m just going to put my stuff down real quick and run to the ladies room”… sure, no problem. If you’re not familiar with the world of commuting, it’s customary for one to leave their personal belongings in line as a place keeper (or a physical “dibs” or “fives” if you will) while they head the bathroom or to grab the daily paper or perhaps a quick snack to hold them over on the bus ride home. Usually this is done when said commuter know there is ample time to do their business then step back in line like they never left.

Yesterday by some weird chance, they started allowing people to load onto the bus about 5 minutes early (which doesn’t seem to out of the ordinary, but for the port authority, trust me that’s like getting your mail-in rebate check from that washing machine you bought within 6 months time). So now the line is moving and this lady is still in bathroom and her jacket and purse are just sitting on the floor.

I felt the social responsibility spotlight over my head, so I grabbed this lady’s items and inched up on line to not throw off the rest of the line behind me (and of course to assure I still get to have somewhat of a pick of where I sit on the bus). People continue to board the bus and no sign of bathroom lady, I still have her things in my hand and allow the people behind me to go ahead. I felt so uncomfortable holding this strangers personal belongings but I also had anxiety that I couldn’t leave her things hanging out in the middle of the port authority bus terminal.

Finally I see the lady walk out of the bathroom, and there’s a panic on her face that said “where did all the people go and where are my things”. So I rapidly walk her direction, and if I could have thrown her stuff at her I would, but I politely hand her items over as she is thanking me up and down. I just selflessly say, “Oh no worries, I just didn’t want to leave your things in the middle there alone”

We swiftly walk over to the gate to board the bus and then I hear her say “Oh this the 133?! That’s not what I need”

OH MY WORD… all that and she didn’t even get on that bus! I still feel confident I made all the right choices, but for at least 1 minute I felt betrayed and my good deed was in vain.

Then of course once I get on the bus, my immediate analysis of the situation was: Only window seats available (I shoot for aisle seats because I’m the first stop and don’t to have to make people get up so I can get off the bus), the last row middle seat, one aisle seat open next to (I called it) fat guy, little coat, and oh wait what’s that…! …an open aisle seat next to a normal looking man in a properly fitting suit. So naturally I B-line for the last option in the series. As I near I see the guy has his coat and brief case on the seat next to him, so I politely say “excuse me” and then he starts huffing and puffing and looking around where to put his belongings on his lap and whatnot. Sorry sir! The bus is nearly full, get over it! You’re not special you don’t get a seat for your things (unless of course the bus has 15 people on it, then by all means, take that chair next to you as your own).

An adventure, always!