Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Lunch time calls...
I'm all about eating on the go, as I'm a habitual offender of eating while driving. But I might have just witnessed the most hilarious lunch on the run: lady walking down 58th street (between Lex & 3rd) with a gladeware container of fried chicken... she was just strolling down the block nom-ing on a chicken wing hoovering over her plastic container. Simply outrageous.
Friday, March 20, 2009
I should have cut him... with a knife...
So this morning I was feeling really good about it being Friday (after what felt like the longest weekend in some time) and it was the first day of spring! Much to my dismay I woke up to snow, hello mother nature life crisis. Also by accident last night set my alarm for 7:30am instead of the usual 6:30am (no idea what my thought process was last night?)
Already I was out of sorts, I was not prepared to clean my car off or dig out my rain boots. Therefore I forfeited my breakfast in effort to do the previously two stated things (and yes, my morning is down to a science by the minute, so every second counts). Finally I get my butt out the door, and start my trek to the bus. Of course any sort of weather element that is not sunny with a high of 75 people of the great state of New Jersey can't handle it and drive with a comical amount of caution.
Anyway, I get to the bus stop and I'm the only one there which really means I just missed a bus and will have to wait at least 10-15 before another ones drives by (whether full or not: TBD). After about 5 minutes a man is now waiting behind me, and 5 minutes later another. A bus drives up and it doesn't say whether it's a Wall St. or Port Authority bus, because it says "Bus full another one following" on the display (instead of the route). But the bus stops to let TWO people off. The last man in line approaches the bus to ask if its a Wall St. bus, it's not so he backs away. But the guy who was behind me just barrels past me and GETS ON THE BUS!?! I WAS CUT!? REALLY....
I didn't immediately approach the bus because:
A. the bus said it was full on the display
B. the light was red and I thought perhaps the bus was just stopping as to abide the law
C. when I realized people were getting off, I politely stayed out of their way so they could exit safely
But no, this man went with D. NONE OF THE ABOVE. Perhaps he went with choice D because in fact he is a D. HE CUT ME... a grown man cut the line? This would have been an issue I would have gotten over quickly except that two people got off the bus leaving room for two people to get on. This man got first dibs, and got a real seat (and a window seat, I love window seats in the morning!). Guess where I got stuck? Back row, middle, feet on the hump! (well actually the seat next to the middle person) but still 5 grown humans sitting in one row is miserable!
I sit down, put on some Sufjan Stevens and I turned the air nozzle on (that is rightfully above my seat) because it gets warm on the bus and I also get motion sickness and for some odd reason cold air blowing in my face helps diminish the side effects. Also the further back in the bus the more likely I am to feel a little nauseous, its sorta like how on roller coasters the back is the best because it like flies off the track, etc. except on a bus it's just a miserable experience and there is zero thrill.
The girl sitting in the middle about 10 minutes after I turn the air on, reaches over me and closes my air vent!? I open up my eyes and stare over at her and she says "I hope you didn't want that on"... "OH NO IT'S OK YOU JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT", and then closed my eyes and went back to my happy nap place. REALLY?!? You just took it upon yourself to climb over me and turn off my vent? I would have been ok with her tapping me on the shoulder and asking if maybe I could angle it in a different direction, but to just go ahead and do what you want, not ok.
Then to make it worse, 15 minutes later after cutting off my air supply, she falls DEAD asleep and proceeds to lose control of her upper body. She is now bouncing back and fourth between me and the man next to her like the ball in the video game pong. UNREAL. I hate being touched by strangers, it just bothers me I'm not sure why. Whilst all of this is happening all I could do was notice how three rows up the man who cut me and stole a regular seat from me, is sitting next to what looks like a normal man, reading a newspaper, awake, and not thrashing about in a coma.
Above all I was mad I missed out on my morning 45min nap... I hate people and public transportation.
Already I was out of sorts, I was not prepared to clean my car off or dig out my rain boots. Therefore I forfeited my breakfast in effort to do the previously two stated things (and yes, my morning is down to a science by the minute, so every second counts). Finally I get my butt out the door, and start my trek to the bus. Of course any sort of weather element that is not sunny with a high of 75 people of the great state of New Jersey can't handle it and drive with a comical amount of caution.
Anyway, I get to the bus stop and I'm the only one there which really means I just missed a bus and will have to wait at least 10-15 before another ones drives by (whether full or not: TBD). After about 5 minutes a man is now waiting behind me, and 5 minutes later another. A bus drives up and it doesn't say whether it's a Wall St. or Port Authority bus, because it says "Bus full another one following" on the display (instead of the route). But the bus stops to let TWO people off. The last man in line approaches the bus to ask if its a Wall St. bus, it's not so he backs away. But the guy who was behind me just barrels past me and GETS ON THE BUS!?! I WAS CUT!? REALLY....
I didn't immediately approach the bus because:
A. the bus said it was full on the display
B. the light was red and I thought perhaps the bus was just stopping as to abide the law
C. when I realized people were getting off, I politely stayed out of their way so they could exit safely
But no, this man went with D. NONE OF THE ABOVE. Perhaps he went with choice D because in fact he is a D. HE CUT ME... a grown man cut the line? This would have been an issue I would have gotten over quickly except that two people got off the bus leaving room for two people to get on. This man got first dibs, and got a real seat (and a window seat, I love window seats in the morning!). Guess where I got stuck? Back row, middle, feet on the hump! (well actually the seat next to the middle person) but still 5 grown humans sitting in one row is miserable!
I sit down, put on some Sufjan Stevens and I turned the air nozzle on (that is rightfully above my seat) because it gets warm on the bus and I also get motion sickness and for some odd reason cold air blowing in my face helps diminish the side effects. Also the further back in the bus the more likely I am to feel a little nauseous, its sorta like how on roller coasters the back is the best because it like flies off the track, etc. except on a bus it's just a miserable experience and there is zero thrill.
The girl sitting in the middle about 10 minutes after I turn the air on, reaches over me and closes my air vent!? I open up my eyes and stare over at her and she says "I hope you didn't want that on"... "OH NO IT'S OK YOU JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT", and then closed my eyes and went back to my happy nap place. REALLY?!? You just took it upon yourself to climb over me and turn off my vent? I would have been ok with her tapping me on the shoulder and asking if maybe I could angle it in a different direction, but to just go ahead and do what you want, not ok.
Then to make it worse, 15 minutes later after cutting off my air supply, she falls DEAD asleep and proceeds to lose control of her upper body. She is now bouncing back and fourth between me and the man next to her like the ball in the video game pong. UNREAL. I hate being touched by strangers, it just bothers me I'm not sure why. Whilst all of this is happening all I could do was notice how three rows up the man who cut me and stole a regular seat from me, is sitting next to what looks like a normal man, reading a newspaper, awake, and not thrashing about in a coma.
Above all I was mad I missed out on my morning 45min nap... I hate people and public transportation.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The wheels on the bus, throw up and down...
I have the worst luck with NJ transit buses, I've been working in the city for seven months and within those months my bus has broken down 9 or 10 times. That's a terrible percentage. Last night I went to a show and was on a later bus (around 11:15PM) and I had a different sort of bad luck last night. My bus did not stall, break down, get into an accident or even get a flat tire. Here's what happened:
About 20 minutes into the ride home (which is just about 1/2 way there) people from the middle of the bus go "BUS DRIVER! THERE'S A PROBLEM" and for some reason I panic and think someone has discovered there is a bomb on the bus or something, like all of sudden I'm in a Keanu Reeves movie (re: Speed). The driver can't really hear what's happening so well, and wants details and louder. But no one from the middle of the bus is articulating properly what the issue is. Then someone finally proclaims that a girl is sick and has thrown up everywhere.
Now to be graphic for a second, about ten minutes prior I THOUGHT I SMELLED VOMIT... but then I kind of wrote it off like "nah, can't be" and I assessed the smell to be STRAWBERRY MILK... Sidenote: I've ruined strawberry milk for myself, forever! Not like I really have ever enjoyed it before in my life, but now I can't for sure.
OK, so back to the story. The bus driver yells that we're so close to the first stop and that she's going to get us there then see what's going on. People are now starting to chit chat and talk amongst themselves about the horrible smell/situation, while I'm breathing into my decorative scarf like it's an oxygen mask that falls from the overhead compartment on a plane.
Quickly and safely we arrive at the first stop and people who are lucky enough to have reached their destination RUN off the bus like they were fleeing from a burning building (women and children first off course!)
There are two women* who have fully analyzed the situation and giving an extensive report to the bus driver. (*Note: these women are in their late 40's and are probably coming back from a "girls night" in the city. Which probably meant they just saw "Jersey Boys" and ate dinner at Carmine's in true bridge and tunnel fashion). The two women have discovered the girl has thrown up all over herself and the aisle and is now resting with her head in the lap of the young man she was sitting next to. Best part is, the young chap is not with her... he just happens to be sitting next to this girl (who, at this point, is PASSED OUT). So the bus driver is like "WAKE UP GIRL!" and she's basically dead but the driver wants to rescue the innocent boy who is trapped next to her.
Bus driver finally picks this girl up out of her seat and plops her down in the next seat. Boy leaps up and sits in the very first seat on the bus (wise choice). People on the bus are now passing newspapers to the middle of bus to put ontop of the vomit river in a group effort to mute the smell.
Bus driver's golden line: "Good Lord this bus has been a victim, DANG!"
Then the bus driver says there's nothing more she can do, people can get off if they want and wait for the next bus otherwise she promised to "smoke em down Route 9". (Sidenote: it's now about midnight)
Thankfully my stop was next (and only about a 1/2 mile away from the first stop). I ran off that bus like Forest Gump. Even after I got home I could still in my mind smell vomit, it was horfic. I layed down to go to sleep but I literally couldn't deal and had to jump in the shower and fully cleanse myself!
GOD BLESS NJ TRANIST, NEVER A LET DOWN!
About 20 minutes into the ride home (which is just about 1/2 way there) people from the middle of the bus go "BUS DRIVER! THERE'S A PROBLEM" and for some reason I panic and think someone has discovered there is a bomb on the bus or something, like all of sudden I'm in a Keanu Reeves movie (re: Speed). The driver can't really hear what's happening so well, and wants details and louder. But no one from the middle of the bus is articulating properly what the issue is. Then someone finally proclaims that a girl is sick and has thrown up everywhere.
Now to be graphic for a second, about ten minutes prior I THOUGHT I SMELLED VOMIT... but then I kind of wrote it off like "nah, can't be" and I assessed the smell to be STRAWBERRY MILK... Sidenote: I've ruined strawberry milk for myself, forever! Not like I really have ever enjoyed it before in my life, but now I can't for sure.
OK, so back to the story. The bus driver yells that we're so close to the first stop and that she's going to get us there then see what's going on. People are now starting to chit chat and talk amongst themselves about the horrible smell/situation, while I'm breathing into my decorative scarf like it's an oxygen mask that falls from the overhead compartment on a plane.
Quickly and safely we arrive at the first stop and people who are lucky enough to have reached their destination RUN off the bus like they were fleeing from a burning building (women and children first off course!)
There are two women* who have fully analyzed the situation and giving an extensive report to the bus driver. (*Note: these women are in their late 40's and are probably coming back from a "girls night" in the city. Which probably meant they just saw "Jersey Boys" and ate dinner at Carmine's in true bridge and tunnel fashion). The two women have discovered the girl has thrown up all over herself and the aisle and is now resting with her head in the lap of the young man she was sitting next to. Best part is, the young chap is not with her... he just happens to be sitting next to this girl (who, at this point, is PASSED OUT). So the bus driver is like "WAKE UP GIRL!" and she's basically dead but the driver wants to rescue the innocent boy who is trapped next to her.
Bus driver finally picks this girl up out of her seat and plops her down in the next seat. Boy leaps up and sits in the very first seat on the bus (wise choice). People on the bus are now passing newspapers to the middle of bus to put ontop of the vomit river in a group effort to mute the smell.
Bus driver's golden line: "Good Lord this bus has been a victim, DANG!"
Then the bus driver says there's nothing more she can do, people can get off if they want and wait for the next bus otherwise she promised to "smoke em down Route 9". (Sidenote: it's now about midnight)
Thankfully my stop was next (and only about a 1/2 mile away from the first stop). I ran off that bus like Forest Gump. Even after I got home I could still in my mind smell vomit, it was horfic. I layed down to go to sleep but I literally couldn't deal and had to jump in the shower and fully cleanse myself!
GOD BLESS NJ TRANIST, NEVER A LET DOWN!
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