The wheels on the bus, throw up and down...

I have the worst luck with NJ transit buses, I've been working in the city for seven months and within those months my bus has broken down 9 or 10 times. That's a terrible percentage. Last night I went to a show and was on a later bus (around 11:15PM) and I had a different sort of bad luck last night. My bus did not stall, break down, get into an accident or even get a flat tire. Here's what happened:

About 20 minutes into the ride home (which is just about 1/2 way there) people from the middle of the bus go "BUS DRIVER! THERE'S A PROBLEM" and for some reason I panic and think someone has discovered there is a bomb on the bus or something, like all of sudden I'm in a Keanu Reeves movie (re: Speed). The driver can't really hear what's happening so well, and wants details and louder. But no one from the middle of the bus is articulating properly what the issue is. Then someone finally proclaims that a girl is sick and has thrown up everywhere.

Now to be graphic for a second, about ten minutes prior I THOUGHT I SMELLED VOMIT... but then I kind of wrote it off like "nah, can't be" and I assessed the smell to be STRAWBERRY MILK... Sidenote: I've ruined strawberry milk for myself, forever! Not like I really have ever enjoyed it before in my life, but now I can't for sure.

OK, so back to the story. The bus driver yells that we're so close to the first stop and that she's going to get us there then see what's going on. People are now starting to chit chat and talk amongst themselves about the horrible smell/situation, while I'm breathing into my decorative scarf like it's an oxygen mask that falls from the overhead compartment on a plane.

Quickly and safely we arrive at the first stop and people who are lucky enough to have reached their destination RUN off the bus like they were fleeing from a burning building (women and children first off course!)

There are two women* who have fully analyzed the situation and giving an extensive report to the bus driver. (*Note: these women are in their late 40's and are probably coming back from a "girls night" in the city. Which probably meant they just saw "Jersey Boys" and ate dinner at Carmine's in true bridge and tunnel fashion). The two women have discovered the girl has thrown up all over herself and the aisle and is now resting with her head in the lap of the young man she was sitting next to. Best part is, the young chap is not with her... he just happens to be sitting next to this girl (who, at this point, is PASSED OUT). So the bus driver is like "WAKE UP GIRL!" and she's basically dead but the driver wants to rescue the innocent boy who is trapped next to her.

Bus driver finally picks this girl up out of her seat and plops her down in the next seat. Boy leaps up and sits in the very first seat on the bus (wise choice). People on the bus are now passing newspapers to the middle of bus to put ontop of the vomit river in a group effort to mute the smell.

Bus driver's golden line: "Good Lord this bus has been a victim, DANG!"

Then the bus driver says there's nothing more she can do, people can get off if they want and wait for the next bus otherwise she promised to "smoke em down Route 9". (Sidenote: it's now about midnight)

Thankfully my stop was next (and only about a 1/2 mile away from the first stop). I ran off that bus like Forest Gump. Even after I got home I could still in my mind smell vomit, it was horfic. I layed down to go to sleep but I literally couldn't deal and had to jump in the shower and fully cleanse myself!

GOD BLESS NJ TRANIST, NEVER A LET DOWN!