I saw Rocky this morning...

This morning I'm walking out of the Port Authority and there's a dude in front of me and he's walking all normal but the second he gets outside he starts BOOKING it I mean RUNNING. But what was truly funny was that as he got to the corner he grabs an a Metro from the dude handing them out on the corner and doesn't miss a beat, and continues to haul ass across the street. This man grabbed the paper like it was a cup of water during a marathon, I swear in his head he must have been singing "gotta fly now".

In my mind though it reminded me of those old Starbucks commercials where the guy had his own theme music, "ROY, ROY, ROY, ROY!"

It's probably a time travel machine...

On my way home from work yesterday I was on the subway (N, going uptown) and I saw the craziest old (probably homeless?) man trying to make conversation with a fairly friendly girl (probably about twenty) who had a tall fan tower.

crazy man: hey, what is that?

girl: a fan

crazy man: what does it do?

girl: moves the air around, keeps you cool

crazy man: HA, just use ice! That's what I always do

girl: right, ok

crazy man: how much did that cost you?

girl: like $50

crazy man: I'll give you $5,000 for it

girl: no, I think I'll just keep it

crazy man: ok, I don't have $5000 anyway

HAHA.. I love people on the subway too much. This girl looked so uncomfortable but probably only because everyone sitting around her and this guy were hysterical laughing and just watching the whole conversation unfold. This crazy guy proceeded to then talk to a black guy who was reading a paper with Obama on the cover about how Obama is "down with America, I feel him brother, don't you brother?" ... what a coo-coo banana's guy.

Good use of pick up line # 174 ...

Yesterday on my lunch break I was strolling down Lex in dire need of Jamba Juice, and witnessed something that I actually found legitimately funny and wanted to proceed to have a conversation with these two people I saw. First I'll explain there are two ladies walking towards me and two suits (sexy suits, if I might add) walking along side me. The one lady does a crazy criss cross move on the sidewalk and her friend accidentally steps on her flip flop leaving her friend off balance and falling, without shoe. The sexy suits are walking right into this mess:

sexy (suave) suit: whoa, whoa (tries to catch lady falling over)... look at that, you just fell head over heals for me.

lady: haha yea I guess I did, too bad my lunch break is over


Honestly, the dude didn't even sound like an ass when he said that. I give him credit for being able to speak so cleverly at a moments notice. For the first time I'm reporting the stupidity of not what someone said but the fact that homegirl dropped the ball so badly on a potential courtship, and that's where today's stupidity comes into play haha.

She must not get that a latte...

Honestly, my starbucks mornings are golden. Usual starbucks, different people, always the same level of stupidity.

barista dude: venti ice coffee

girl: thanks

barista dude: have a "grande" day

girl: listen it's too early for insults and I'm only 110 pounds for the record

Really? You think the guy who just made your coffee called you fat? Perhaps it was a pun... obviously it went over all 110 pounds of her. Yikes...

So I stand corrected...

Sadly, I have to totally take back the mockery I made of that man on the bus in my last entry. I've been informed by my nearest and dearest beer loving friend, Jeff, that Stella does in fact NOW own Anheuser-Busch as of a month ago!? This completely flew under the radar for me: internet proof

My greatest apologies for calling out an innocent man... I promise to climb out from underneath my rock I've apparently been under and be more in touch with life.

CHEERS.

This will probably cost Ireland the Olympics...

OK so I take a local bus into the city in the morning. It makes about 6 or 7 local stops before getting onto the parkway. For those of you who have never experienced this, for the most part the people on this bus have been doing so for years, and people make small talk with "Hey its Joe from the bus, how ya doing buddy". I'd like to make up names for these two men I overheard this morning, just for fun because I'm pretty sure it's accurate haha. Also, they are probably in their late 40s.

(both men are sitting in aisle seats next to one another on the bus, in the row behind me)

Joe: so anything new going on?

Steve: not too much, but hey I'll tell ya this, have you ever had Stella, as in the beer?

Joe: yes, it's a pretty solid brew.

Steve: you're not kidding, I feel bad for my Irish roots but I have stock in Budweiser so I'm going to drink up regardless.

Hi Steve, let's chat for a second. You have stock in a publicly owned American Brewery right? Well, you're new favorite beer is made in BELGIUM. And you're Irish, so basically I'd say you're fucked.

Honestly, do people even know where anything is made or from anymore? Jesus h...

Not something people say out loud...

I have no idea what the relationship was between the guy and girl I overheard in Starbucks (my usual spot on 57th between Lex & Madison) this morning. But I sat down and heard these two (in their late twenties) talking and this is what I heard:

girl: yea well, he's still in college

guy: (reluctantly) oh is that right?

girl: (jokingly) yea, ya know, love those 18 year olds

guy: me too!! (probably joking, with serious undertone)

Man, who says that out loud? I mean, had I missed the first two lines of that I'd would have thought they were sick people. You never know who is listening, Jesus H.

Also! I really do think this woman may have been Ms. Cin-faux de Mayo, ya know the girl who thought London was like a whole other country.... my guess is it could have very well been her.