Lots of sights...

Ok, so recently not too much to be overheard but I've seen lots of things so I'll compile the running list I've had in my head for about a month...

I saw a little boy (on Lex between 58th & 57th) wearing a ski-mask like hat, but it was shaped like a ninja turtle head. So it was a green hat, with holes for the eyes and a colored head band. The kid was also karate kicking down the street while holding onto the baby stroller his mom was pushing with a younger sibling, it was ADORABLE.

Along the same lines, I saw a kid (on 3rd between 54th & 53th) with a ski-mask like hat but it was shaped like the Jason mask from Friday the 13th. Kid was maybe 12, and was spotted about 4 days before the release of the movie remake.

Yesterday on the R (downtown) a blind homeless man (who I have seen before) was walking down the middle of the cars singing. His second song was Rod Stewart's "If you think I'm sexy", which was terrible to find amusing given this man's situation and I actually would have not found it funny except I made eye contact with the suit standing next to me and he was trying to hard not to laugh, he looked like his body was going to explode and shoot out little smile face emoticons.

Finally today, I saw a large woman on one of those ride on scooters and she was flying down 3rd avenue (between 59th & 58th). Her scooter had a bike bell on it and she was vigorously ringing it as she flew down the street, I suppose in order not to run down a group of suits walking to work. The funny part about all this was as she got closer I noticed sitting on the platform of the scooter by her feet were THREE DOGS!?!?! It was just a very interesting sight to say the least.

How much do we owe strangers, ethically...

So I faced a moral dilemma yesterday while waiting for my bus in the Port Authority after work. Oddly enough I had arrived at the same time I usually do to catch the most convenient bus (the 133 @ 7:30 pm). But yesterday, I suppose due to the unfavorable weather conditions, there was already a huge line of about 25 people (normally at that time there’s only about 15 people, with the bus being full at about 25-30).

So I begrudgingly take my place at the end of the line, imaging how that spot on line will land me a seat next to a fat man in a little coat, or a disrespectful single 30-something female who will talk to her lady friend via cell phone the whole way home about her life is so tough, 3 dates in one week not one suitable guy. (Side note: he’s just not that into you)

Anyway, after standing on line for about 15 seconds a lady (I’d say in her forties) gets in line behind me and says “I’m just going to put my stuff down real quick and run to the ladies room”… sure, no problem. If you’re not familiar with the world of commuting, it’s customary for one to leave their personal belongings in line as a place keeper (or a physical “dibs” or “fives” if you will) while they head the bathroom or to grab the daily paper or perhaps a quick snack to hold them over on the bus ride home. Usually this is done when said commuter know there is ample time to do their business then step back in line like they never left.

Yesterday by some weird chance, they started allowing people to load onto the bus about 5 minutes early (which doesn’t seem to out of the ordinary, but for the port authority, trust me that’s like getting your mail-in rebate check from that washing machine you bought within 6 months time). So now the line is moving and this lady is still in bathroom and her jacket and purse are just sitting on the floor.

I felt the social responsibility spotlight over my head, so I grabbed this lady’s items and inched up on line to not throw off the rest of the line behind me (and of course to assure I still get to have somewhat of a pick of where I sit on the bus). People continue to board the bus and no sign of bathroom lady, I still have her things in my hand and allow the people behind me to go ahead. I felt so uncomfortable holding this strangers personal belongings but I also had anxiety that I couldn’t leave her things hanging out in the middle of the port authority bus terminal.

Finally I see the lady walk out of the bathroom, and there’s a panic on her face that said “where did all the people go and where are my things”. So I rapidly walk her direction, and if I could have thrown her stuff at her I would, but I politely hand her items over as she is thanking me up and down. I just selflessly say, “Oh no worries, I just didn’t want to leave your things in the middle there alone”

We swiftly walk over to the gate to board the bus and then I hear her say “Oh this the 133?! That’s not what I need”

OH MY WORD… all that and she didn’t even get on that bus! I still feel confident I made all the right choices, but for at least 1 minute I felt betrayed and my good deed was in vain.

Then of course once I get on the bus, my immediate analysis of the situation was: Only window seats available (I shoot for aisle seats because I’m the first stop and don’t to have to make people get up so I can get off the bus), the last row middle seat, one aisle seat open next to (I called it) fat guy, little coat, and oh wait what’s that…! …an open aisle seat next to a normal looking man in a properly fitting suit. So naturally I B-line for the last option in the series. As I near I see the guy has his coat and brief case on the seat next to him, so I politely say “excuse me” and then he starts huffing and puffing and looking around where to put his belongings on his lap and whatnot. Sorry sir! The bus is nearly full, get over it! You’re not special you don’t get a seat for your things (unless of course the bus has 15 people on it, then by all means, take that chair next to you as your own).

An adventure, always!

You know, I thought it felt like 1912 today...

Yesterday was another exciting morning on the 133 local to new york. Apparently a bus like an hour beforehand had broken down about four stops after I get on, therefore each subsequent stop had way more people waiting then the average day. The bus is usually full by the last stop but after about three stops before that the bus was full, leaving lots of angry people waiting outside. Lots of people were voicing that our bus was the fourth to go by with no seats. With that a few people got on, with zero reservations, to stand because they just needed to get into the city at that point.

By the last stop there were about 20 people waiting there and the driver stopped to say no seats and the first man in line went NUTS at the bus driver (who is completely not responsible for the mess)

Angry man: Are you kidding me, you're the fourth bus with no seats this is ridiculous! I'm paying your high rates, and FOR WHAT?!? 45 minutes I've been out there freezing my ass off, I feel like I'm waiting for a life raft on the Titanic, this is freakin unbelievable!!!

Yes, you are absolutely right sir this situation reminds me exactly of the Titanic... too bad you're standing now. What does that make you steerage/lower class? Oh well, never let go right?

Flip that, rewind it back...

In Starbucks this morning as per the daily grind (no pun intended... ok, maybe a little) and I'm waiting for my barista to make my latte. All of a sudden I hear this man sitting at one of the first tables talking at an unusually high volume, so I nonchalantly gaze over my shoulder to analyze the situation more closely. Turns out, it's this large black man (maybe about 50 pounds shy from acutally resembling Big Black from Rob & Big). He's sitting at this table with one of those old school tape players/recorders, microphone and all. He's talking, well yelling, into the microphone having conversations as if he is on the telephone then stopping the tape and replaying the conversation but fast forwarding and rewinding through the playback sporadically.

It was as if he was imagining to be in a hide out van working for the FBI. He was saying things like, "Alright man well keep my posted, I'm on standby". But then the next moment/next conversation recorded would be like, "Hey buddy happy fucking new year, here we go again, right?".

It was simply gold, I sat back and read my newspaper and watched from afar as the next grouping of people waiting for their drinks tried to analyze what exactly was happening.

You might want to upload the Google Maps app to your Blackberry...

If you're not from New Jersey the following post might not make any sense, just an FYI. I'm in the elevator yesterday leaving work (19th floor). The elevator stops at like 15th floor and when the doors open two women are talking, one in about her late 20's and two in about her 40's.

#1: so where did you grow up then?

#2: oh well, I grew up in central Jersey

#1: oh where?

#2: Middlesex county

#1: OK, like Manalapan, Marlborough?

#2: No, that's the shore...

#1: ohh?

#2: yea, Middlesex like Scotch Plains near the Watchung hills.

OK, so I understand that Manalapan & Marlborough are both in Monmouth county but to call it the SHORE is a little absurd. I live in Middlesex (technically) but I'm really only two towns over from them. But Scotch Plains is NOT Middlesex county, that's more like Union and probably not near the Watchung Hills which is probably Somerset county... Good thing you live on the Upper East Side now, or did you really mean the Lower East Side?

One is actually not the loneliest number...

So I realized one of my biggest pet peeves is popping up a lot recently: why must people press the button to the elevator one million times when it's evident you have already pressed it once, or worse they pushed it once themselves already. It really drives me up a wall when I see this happen, especially when the person presses it over and over about six times at rapid fire. I mean, do you really think that's going to help the elevator that is clearly on 29th floor get down to the lobby any sooner? It's plain and simple, what goes up must come down, so take a second, check your blackberry it's going to take some time, but I promise that elevator will come to you with just one press of that little button.

I hear the blow dryer business is also failing...

So I was waiting for the bus (139) in NJ this morning, and at this bus stop there are usually on average about 4 buses that go by that are full before you get on one. There are also two buses that pass, buses to the Port Authority and buses that go directly to Wall Street. There is a girl in front of me who was already waiting there when I walked up, and she has basically soaking wet hair. Note this morning was about 38 degrees. Every time a full bus went by she was whining to herself and stomping her feet on the ground. Then two consecutive buses to Wall Street pass...

girl with wet hair: Oh my god, another Wall Street bus?! Isn't the economy failing, come on!

Maybe you should wake up ten minutes earlier so you don't have to stand outside with wet hair. Perhaps that would make your daily routine a little more pleasant, no?